My Message Collection 4

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My Message Collection 4

Post by reion_4u on Mon Sep 24, 2007 1:27 am

• Sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom, while getting a raise.
• Man: Doc mera khada nahi hota hai.
Doc: R u married?
NO.
Do u hv a g/f?
NO.
Do u go to prostitutes?
NO.
Doc: To khada karke kya calander tangega?
• Smoking one cigarette makes your life 11 minutes shorter. A good f**K makes it last 15 minutes longer. So smokers...f**K FOR YOUR LIFE!
• I only have SEX on days that begin with T: Tuesday, Thursday, Today, Tomorrow, Thaturday, Thunday and Tevery other day!
• Women eh! Boob jobs, botox, pierced ears, nipples, bellies & clits. Eyebrows plucked, bikini lines & legs waxed & they won't take it up the arse ‘coz it HURTS!
• If a married woman is called 'Polo... The mint with a hole' Then what's an unmarried woman called...?
CENTER FRESH
• New AIDS awareness slogan: Try different positions with the same woman instead of same position with different women.
• Q: What's the definition of a Menstrual Period?
A: A bloody waste of fu*kin time!
• An old lady owned two dogs. One day they both died, so she took them to the taxidermist.
So u want them mounted?
No. Holding hands will do just fine.
• Q: What's the closest thing to a woman's period?
A: Your salary. It comes once a month lasts about 3-4 days and if it doesn't come everythings fucked.
• Q: How do we know men invented maps?
A: Who else would turn an inch into a mile!
• Banana and a vibrator sitting on a bedside table. Banana turns 2 vibrator I don't know why you are fuckin shaking, she's goin 2 eat me!
• A man meets a lady at a bar and says: Hi, what' ur name?
She replies: Carman, coz I like cars & I like men, what's urs?
Man: Beer cunt!
• Women r like a pair of rubber boots. When they r dry, u can’t enter them, when they r wet, they smell & when u walk on the street with them, people laugh at u.
• Name the 5 great kings that have brought happiness in peoples lives?
DrinKING,
LicKING,
SucKING,
F*cKING,
W*nKING !
• Customer: Excuse me, but how can this tiny little hand bag cost so much?
Cashier: It`s made of foreskin madam, when u lick it, it becomes a suit case!
• After great sex, she lies there stroking his penis.
He asks: Do you want more sex?
She says: No. Just admiring your penis. I used to have one just like it.
• A gal tells her Doctor: I've got a bad discharge.
He fingers her & says how’s it feel?
Gal: Very nice, but the discharge is in my ear.
• The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of sperm when mating, but only 10% enters the female, and you wondered why the sea tasted so Fu*kin salty!
• A reasent studdi haz chown thet peapel hoo aar amezing in bed ar krapp at spelin!
• What's the diff between hook in circket and hook of bra.
One sends ball out of boundary and other keeps balls within the boundary.
• When nobody luvs u, nobody cares 4 u, nobody think about u, every1 ignores u, then go n sit in the corner close ur eyes n think: Bhanch*d Chakar kya hai?
• Jack & Jill went up the hill to have a little fun.
But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.
• Workers discuss cricket! Managers discuss tennis! Top bosses discuss Snooker! CEO's discuss Golf!
Moral: Higher u go smaller ur balls become!
• Bhagwan ko gussa kab aata hai?
Jab kisi ladki ka rape hone ke baad uski ma bolti hai, "Hey Bhagwan yeh tune kya kiya."
• If the penis is hard & erect it needs good f**K, if it’s erect but soft it needs good s**K, if it’s neither hard nor erect, it needs Good luck!
• As a man goes older, it is harder and harder for him to grow harder.
• Q: Why does a stupid blond girl never swim on her belly?
A: When she feels something wet she turn on her back.
• Q: Why are men like a toothbrush?
A: They are useless without handle.
• When I was born I got the choice: a major dick or a fine memory. I am not able to remember what I did choose.
• Thought for the day: In terms of sex satisfaction, woman is like a road and a man is like a traveller. The traveller gets tired but the road never ends!
• Man quits smoking because of will power.
He quits drinking because of will power.
But he quits womanizing because he has the will but no power.
• Q: What do you call Afghan virgin?
A: Never Bin LaDen
• Woman has man in it; Mrs. has Mir in it; Female has male in it; She has He in it; Madam has Adam in it; No wonder men always want to be inside women!
• Q: Agar Madhubala ki jagah Mallika Sherawat hoti Mughal-e-Azam mein to film ka naam kya hota?
A: Mughal-e-Orgasm!!!
• Kaho Santa ji suhaag raat kaisi rahi?
Kuch mat pooocho yaar! Pehle 5-6 baar to missed call lagi aur jab sahi number laga to balance nil ho gya?
• A Greek n Italian were arguing over who is superior.
Greek: We gave sex to the world.
Italians: Yes you did, but we introduced it to women!
• Scientists in the US proved that people who do not perform well in bed and who have difficulties to come hold their mobile in their right hand.
• Write an essay which contains factors religion, sex & mystery.
Winning essay: Oh my god, I am pregnant, I wonder who did it!
• Q: What will happen if earth rotates 30 times faster?
A: Men will get their salary everyday and women will bleed to death.
• Thought for the day: In terms of sex satisfaction, woman is like a road and a man is like a traveller. The traveller gets tired but the road never ends!
• Man quits smoking because of will power.
He quits drinking because of will power.
But he quits womanizing because he has the will but no power.
• Q: What do you call Afghan virgin?
A: Never Bin LaDen
• Woman has man in it; Mrs. has Mir in it; Female has male in it; She has He in it; Madam has Adam in it; No wonder men always want to be inside women!
• Q: Agar Madhubala ki jagah Mallika Sherawat hoti Mughal-e-Azam mein to film ka naam kya hota?
A: Mughal-e-Orgasm!!!
• Kaho Santa ji suhaag raat kaisi rahi?
Kuch mat pooocho yaar! Pehle 5-6 baar to missed call lagi aur jab sahi number laga to balance nil ho gya?
• A Greek n Italian were arguing over who is superior.
Greek: We gave sex to the world.
Italians: Yes you did, but we introduced it to women!
• Scientists in the US proved that people who do not perform well in bed and who have difficulties to come hold their mobile in their right hand.
• Write an essay which contains factors religion, sex & mystery.
Winning essay: Oh my god, I am pregnant, I wonder who did it!
• Q: What will happen if earth rotates 30 times faster?
A: Men will get their salary everyday and women will bleed to death.

Misc


On a silent night when friend r few, i close my eyes and fink of u, a silent nite, a silent tear, a silent wish,dat u were here!
stars have 5ends, squares have4 ends, triangles have3 ends, lines have2 ends, life has1 end, but i hope our friendship has no end
Although its quite a statement, Well it happens 2 b true. The best friend i ever had, Im glad 2 say its u!
Smiles 'n' Tears, Giggles 'n' Laughs, Late nite calls 'n' Cute fotographs, ill b rite here till da day of ma death best friends forever till ma very last breath!!
The years will come the years will go but with each 1 i wil always know whichever way the road may bend u wil always be my best friend
when it hurts 2 look back & ur scared 2 look ahead, just look beside u & i will b there.
i cant txt u roses or fax u my heart.id email u kisses but wed stil b apart.i luv u 2 pieces n just wish ud c dat i care 4 u so much coz u mean da world 2 me.
Many ppl will wlk in and out of ur life.but only tru friends will leave foot prints in ur heart. . . . .u left urs in mine -x-
The recipe of friendship: 1 cup of sharing.2 cups of caring.3 cups of forgiveness & hugs. Mix all of these together to make friends 4ever.
A friend gives hope wen life is low.A friend is a place where you can go.A friend is honest- A friend is true.A friend is precious.A friend is u!
A GOOD FRIEND ISLIKE A 'COMPUTER''ENTERS' UR LIFE.'SAVES' U IN DA HEART.'FORMATS' UR PROBLEMS.'SHIFTS' U 2 OPPORUNITY & NEVA 'DELETS' U 4RM DA HEART
"In ur darkest hour wen ur fed up & blue.just remember this I'll always be there 4 u.Im no angel N cant change ur fate.but I'll do anything 4 u coz ur my m8."
ur a mate wiv a heart of gold.how much u mean to me can never be told.ur sum1 2b talked bout so sweet and true.1 in a million dats u
A gun can kill some1.fire can burn some1.wind can chill.anger can rage till it tearz u apart.but da power of ur smile can heal a frozen heart
There is a gift that gold cannot buy a blessing dats rare & true.dats d gift of a wonderful friend like d friend dat i have in u!
Sum1 sum where dreamz of ur smiles & whilst thinking of u says life is worthwhile.so wen ur lonely remember its true.that sum1 sum where is thinking of u.

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loVE Iz A gaME .WnnA plaY????
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Re: My Message Collection 4

Post by street-gang-multi--dada on Mon Oct 01, 2007 12:34 am

ya
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Re: My Message Collection 4

Post by vampirE on Mon Oct 01, 2007 7:19 am

street-gang-multi--dada wrote:ya
Only ya Idea Idea lol!

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Re: My Message Collection 4

Post by street-gang-multi--dada on Mon Oct 01, 2007 11:10 pm

i love it
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Re: My Message Collection 4

Post by my_code_name on Thu Oct 04, 2007 4:50 pm

lol! reion lol!

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Re: My Message Collection 4

Post by w0rld_life on Thu Oct 04, 2007 6:30 pm

Laughing bro its nice Very Happy
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Re: My Message Collection 4

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