[b]MY nice collection[/b]

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[b]MY nice collection[/b]

Post by reion_4u on Mon Sep 24, 2007 5:34 pm

Very Happy W o m a n

If you kiss her, you are not gentlemen
If you don't, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don't, you are good for nothing
If you agree to all her likes, she is abusing
If you don't you are not understanding
If you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring
If you don't, she accuses you of double crossing
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don't, you are a dull boy
If you are jealous, she says it's bad
If you don't, she thinks you don't love her
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
If you don't, she thinks you don't like her
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her too many, she yells that you are taking advantage
If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics
If you do, she thinks it's just one of the man's tactics
If you stare at other, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by others, she says that they are just admiring
If she talks, she wants you to listen
If you listen, she wants you to talk

In Short:
So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, yet so desirable ...women!

MEN

If you kiss him, he kisses you back
If you don't, he patiently waits
If you praise him, he says thanks you
If you don't, he feels secure in your love
If you agree to all his likes, you have met your fantasy man
If you don't, you still get along
If you visit him often, he welcomes you every time
If you don't, he'll visit you instead
If you are well dressed, he says you are beautiful
If you don't, you are still beautiful
If you are jealous, he reassures you and holds you
If you're not, he gives you no reason to be
If you kiss him once in a while, he's appreciative of your affection
If you kiss him often, he will always have you on his mind
If you stare at another man, he knows that you're only admiring
If he is stared by other women you know why-he's one hot babe
If you talk, he'll always listen
If you listen, he'll tell you anything you want to know

In short:
So complex, yet so direct
So strong, yet so supportive
So dazzling, yet so humble
So passionate, yet so marvelous....MEN!
hehehheheh
Very Happy:D:D:

The Four Cats !

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were .

The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third
man was a Chemist and the fourth man was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called his cat,

"T-square, do your stuff."

T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly
drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty
smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better.

He called his cat and said,

"Spreadsheet, do your stuff."

Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He
divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies ............Everyone agreed
that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said
"Measure, do your stuff."

Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk,, got a 10
ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a
drop into the glass.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, "What can
your cat do?"

The Government Employee called his cat and said.....

"Coffee Break.....do your stuff."

Coffee Break jumped to his feet...........



ate the cookies...............



drank the milk..............



sh*t on the paper....................



screwed the other three cats.....................



claimed he injured his back while doing so..................



filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions.........



put in for Workers Compensation...............and



went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.............!!!!!!!!!!
i hope it znt repeated kekeke:)
Razz:P
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Re: [b]MY nice collection[/b]

Post by vampirE on Mon Sep 24, 2007 8:32 pm

NIce joke Very Happy

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Re: [b]MY nice collection[/b]

Post by w0rld_life on Wed Oct 03, 2007 3:04 am

Nice joke Very Happy Smile
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